09 Mar

Author: Chainka

let’s go back to your old house for Christmas Eve

i wanna see how the lights in your room surrender to grief

and then quietly die when you tell them to leave

we could lay on your little childhood’s bed

tell what we always wanted to, and then not remember a thing that we’ve said

you’ve got a way of reciting, it makes me so sad

every time when you speak of your dad

and i want to tell you i’m sorry, but then, i’ve never had

i’ve never had

let’s go back to your house in George’s Hill

i wanna learn where you learnt to punish and kill

they promise a lot of snow there this year, i could make angels and snowmen

and you could shoot them

until we both would feel empty

baby, i wanna know who taught you how to ruin gently

who taught you how to ruin gently?

i wanna go

(i wanna go)

to places

(to places)

to your favorite store

and i, i wanna leave a couple of traces (traces)

to mask (to heal) your scars

tell me your favorite places, where they are?

i wanna know

(i wanna know)

everything that you hide

(if you wish to be mine)

all of the corners of your beautiful soul

and your brilliant mind

there’s some kind of magic that i don’t seem to get

why does it feel like i know you if we’ve never met?

why does it feel like i know you if we’ve never met?

drive me around the block

you get so upset back at home we don’t ever talk

watching the sun disappear in the fog

your mom’s preparing turkey, you want to play the wishbone

won’t tell it for now, but you gotta know

i’d already given you the longer ending

baby,

who taught you how to ruin gently?

who taught you how to ruin gently?

had a contest, counted how many times a day

we would say

“i love you”,

you got two and i got twenty

baby,

who taught you how to ruin gently?

who taught you how to ruin gently?

huh?

trying to heal you

i am trying to heal you, still

i know i never will

the air is thick, naked and intense

told you George’s Hill is like Prague and you said “you’re always looking for the reference”

you’re always looking for the reference

huh

huh

let’s go back to your old house

(let’s go back to your old house)

i want to read through every your diary entry

don’t know who taught you,

but baby,

you taught me how to ruin gently

you taught me how to ruin gently

promised me we would go back to George’s Hill

but we never will

i know better, we never will

i know better, we never will

i know better, we never will



About the poet:



Chainka is a Ukrainian writer and poet whose work traces the fault lines of human emotion—where tenderness meets devastation, and survival learns to speak in metaphors. Writing since childhood, she has developed a voice marked by emotional precision, lyrical intensity, and an unflinching gaze into sadness, longing, and resilience.



Displaced by war in 2022, Chainka turned writing into both refuge and resistance. Her poetry and prose navigate the fragile intersections of war and peace, love and loss, faith and fracture. Through intimate, often haunting imagery, she explores what it means to remain human when the world insists on breaking you.


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